Sewn

Sewn to Your side,
I hear You.

Sewn to Your side,
I hear You.
Louder than any other.
Clearer than all the others.
How You care for me.

Intimately known,
Finely intertwined.
A fusion as such,
Is this love affair.
How You care for me.

My beloved,
I am Yours,
You are mine.

love & light...♥

We Dance.

 

 



"And I've been told
To pick up my sword & fight for love
Little did I know that love had won for me

Here in Your arms You steal my heart again
And I breathe You in like I've never breathed now

When my faith gets tired and my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round and remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me and we dance.."

In the broken places, in the tension, know that God is fighting for your heart in all the secret places. That something beautiful inside of you is forming. He will never leave you as you are but will restore you. Give you knew strength and courage to be brave and face fear.

love & light...♥



Breaking the Binding, Through Smoke.

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N.B. to be read with NEEDTOBREATHE'S 'Through Smoke' playing in the background. This came to me a few years ago, now I have managed to complete it.

Noise;

To my left, to my right.

I am surrounded by the noise.

I yell,
But will I ever be heard?
Yell, and I will never be heard.

"A thousand teachers and very few fathers.."
Finding it harder to hear You.

So, I stop.

How did I get here? Lost?!.
It echoes. I wait, I listen,
For a voice, so small.

On the floor. Desperate.
Fumbling, searching, for what I should know.
With that, I break the binding.

You separate my right from wrong.
You define the truth from their answers.
You are my liberation.

"When I'm lost in a place that I thought I knew, give me some way that I might find You."

love & light...♥

Meditation.

"Enchantment needs a mind, and the emotions are given as a wellspring." - Ravi Zacharias

Those words and I found myself returning to a favourite past time of mine, drawing and painting.
Honestly, it has been too long. I remember nights I would stay up painting, creating. Long before I played any instrument. In those moments I found my self lost, in a trance so to speak. I've missed the feeling of paint, the colours between my fingers.
Our God is an artist. With an eye and heart for beauty. A gift He has imparted in many of His children. The least I can do is share mine.

I saw a beautiful print by Catherine Parr called 'Meditation'. Here is my version (I used watercolours for this).

Currently listening to:

 

love & light...♥

How Old is the Essence of You?

(Image by Oleg Oprisco)

'N.B. To be read whilst Bryan and Katie Torwalt's 'Weight of Glory' plays in the background.'

How old is the essence of you?

How old is the essence of you!
The age of a spirit, it cannot be measured.
I came from a place, boundless of time
From glory, and
Back to glory will I return.
To the glory of the Eternal, Uncreated One.

"Let no man despise you of your youth!" They say.
But what did You say?

I dance, I revel in You, and
For that sacred moment
I realise, unawares
I am nothing but a spirit.

A spirit set free!
A spirit borne witness to.
I am known; I long to know
More.

For the glory of One I came
For Him and Him alone to be exalted!
For that intimacy to be deeper
For me to understand just how loving You are!
For it not to be taken for granted,
It was all I had known, now it is all I know.

"So let the weight of Your glory
Come and settle on us now..."

love & light...♥

Loving the Miles, For Your Sake | Mary Oliver

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It's Good Friday; I wanted to share this.
Such a beautiful poem, capturing the experience of coming to God in the first days.
Too often we can easily get caught up in the daily drudgeries of life we forget that moment, that experience of coming to God in our first days. Mary Oliver beautifully captures her experience, I am sure, experienced uniquely by many lovers of God.
For His sake, may we continually love the miles.

By Mary Oliver

Coming to God: First days

Lord, what shall I do that I
can’t quiet myself?
Here is the bread, and
here is the cup, and
I can’t quiet myself.

To enter the language of transformation!
To learn the importance of stillness,
    with one’s hands folded!

When will my eyes of rejoicing turn peaceful?
When will my joyful feet grow still?
When will my heart stop its prancing
    as over the summer grass?

Lord, I would run for you, loving the miles for your sake.
I would climb the highest tree
to be that much closer.

Lord, I will learn also to kneel down
into the world of the invisible,
    the inscrutable and the everlasting.
Then I will move no more than the leaves of a tree
    on a day of no wind,
bathed in light,
like the wanderer who has come home at last
and kneels in peace, done with all unnecessary things;
every motion; even words.

love & light...♥



I danced with You like no other.

 

N.B. to be read whilst Rick Pino's 'My Romance' plays in the background. (started 1/1/14; reflections of 2013)

With patience, with endurance.

With patience, with endurance.
I ran, I run.
I danced with You like no other.

You birthed something new in me.
Set on fire, I sang anew.
I sang a new song.

In every heartbeat, You were there.
In my joy and despair, You were there.
You heard my cry and answered.
You taught me to trust, so I did.

In every chord, melody, I felt You.
The wind whispered Your praises.
The earth sang of Your goodness.
As sure as the sunrise, greatly were You to be praised!

Truly, there is something in Your laughter.

Like the Autumn leaves, I fell.
You taught me to wait. Still,
You teach me to wait.

You humbled me again,
You showed me of Your goodness.
Your faithfulness.
I am my brother's keeper.

Now I stand before You
To be filled, emptied and filled again.
To sow, to bear fruit and sow again.
To testify, to be tested and testify again.

Not knowing what lies before me,
You order my steps. You are my guide.
I am Your beloved. A vessel to be used for Your glory.
So will I always dance with You like no other.

My soul can't dance without You,
Unto You, be ALL the Glory!

love & light...♥

We ebb and we flow, so

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Wandering through the unknown.
We ebb and we flow, so.
Day by day.
Excited. Expectant.

Change is inevitable. 

Autumn reminds me of that.

Through the push and pull of this life, I feel like I have experienced a lot of this recently.
Whether it be close friends moving away, change in family life/new relationships to my walk with the Lord; simply seeing a shift in my heart and mind.
Still there is beauty in this season, such beauty in change whilst God makes room for something new, all within His perfect will (Romans 8v27-28; Ecclesiastes 3v11).

Yet, fear creeps up inside of us as we approach what is not known. We worry, we panic.
We become anxious.

In Matthew 6v34 it says:
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Further on Philippians 4v6 says:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

We do not know what tomorrow holds so rather than being anxious, the word commands us to let our requests be made known to God, casting our cares to our Lord (Psalm 55v22), bringing everything under the authority of Jesus Christ.
 
I will never cease to be amazed by how God holds us in these situations, as we stand before the bridges we are to cross not knowing what lies before us and on the other side.

Trust.
Honestly, something I am constantly learning to do. Daily choosing to trust Him over my circumstances as He is greater than them! A God s worthy of trust and who is NOT a God of confusion.
Learning to trust and learning to let go of what was once known, moving into the unknown without fear or anxiety. Therefore realising the essence of change; understanding the newness in life it cultivates.
Such freedom!


Be encouraged:
Change will always come. Remember that God is holding you, He neither sleeps nor slumbers (Psalm 121) Always proceed with a humble heart, trusting and being expectant.
The moments I have finally trusted God with all my heart and wait expectantly for Him, sharing my hopes with Him he moves in amazing ways. We really do serve an amazing God!

love & light...♥

"I'm drifting, closer toward the skyline, looking down on my life, trying to get just one thing right,

The second I stop second guessing, let go like a confession, seeing what I was born to find,

Flying for the first time." 

An Adventure in Worship

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(N.B. To be read whilst Jonathan & Melissa Helser's 'Endless Ocean' plays in the background)

"In that day I will raise up the tabernacle of David that is fallen, and close up his ruins, and I will build it as in the days of old: that they may possess the remnant of Edom, and of all the heathen, which are called by my name, saith the Lord that doeth this." 

- Amos 9 v 11-12

Worship.
The state of my heart.
A deep movement within my spirit, from the belly of my soul,
That pours out of me for the love of who God is;
For what Christ has done.

The lightness of my soul, set free!
How I live and love to worship You.

So, I am back from the beauty that was David's Tent. What an amazing experience but certainly not the end of what happened throughout those 72 hours of non-stop worship.
The moment Beth and I stepped on the train heading towards Wiston Estate, every moment was God appointed. From the lovely lady (a gracious stranger), her daughter and their excitable dog Maise giving us a lift in their car (though we could barely fit) all the way to David's Tent, to us riding back in a flower printed van with seats parallel to the side of the road (thank you Jim and Natalie).

The in-between was the most beautiful bit. There has been such a shift in my spirit.
With or without intention, we as worshipers tend to limit ourselves in worshiping God. The creator of the universe. A God who humbled Himself so that Time itself and Eternity could hold Him. A God who surpasses eternity.
Why?
Have we become fearful?
Have we become too comfortable?
Have we forgotten who our God truly is, our first love?

Freedom.
The words 'when the minority becomes the majority' became so real during those 72 hours of worship and it is my heart to see this throughout God's church. To see people worship; breaking off the chains of fear, restraint and hindrance therefore truly worshiping God in such freedom. Freedom to express themselves and the love they have for God pour out of them. Constantly giving and giving to the Father while He sings so sweetly over us.
What a beautiful picture!
To know and be known by God in such intimacy and beauty. To stand with our brothers and sisters united in our love for God.

Every once in a while you come across those beautiful children of God, where the fragrance of Christ is so evident upon their lives and I found that with Jonathan and Melissa Helser. Such beautiful people. How they strive for their lives, their marriage, their family and community to be a reflection of who Christ is - without chains or restriction; just freedom.
Make me more like You Jesus.

I can't even express everything that happened during the event because of how it affected me as it was so spiritually moving. Sometimes, the things of the Spirit can't always be expressed in words. All I know is something has definitely shifted and change is here. No turning back.
I am so excited for what is to come and what the future holds for worshiping Abba! May we not be afraid to worship Him with EVERYTHING we have - our minds, our bodies...our spirit. Worshiping Him in spirit and in truth; after all it is these people that the Father seeks to worship Him.

love & light...♥

Visit: JonathanHelser.com
Visit: DavidsTent.net

Change Your Mind

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Yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to minister to the youth at my church... Aaaah! LOL! Needless to say, I'm so grateful that I had this opportunity and I wanted to share what I spoke on yesterday.

As a youth group, we had been looking at 'The Battlefield of the Mind'. We looked at how the mind and the heart are the same, how the things that surround us can influence our thoughts whether it is friends or music or TV shows, films etc. We also looked at how our thoughts can, and oftentimes do, turn into our actions. What myself and Josh (fellow youth leader) covered this session was how to change your mind from a mind that focuses in the internal, (the self, what you can gain personally) to a mind that focuses on the external (being in service to God and building His kingdom). 

Being a Christian is not easy. In fact, living life isn't easy. Daily, life throws us curve balls, puts obstacles in our way, which can cause us to be discouraged.
But to "make a decisive dedication of our bodies as a living sacrifice to God" (Romans 12 v 1) is to wake up every morning saying ‘I choose God’. I choose God in the midst of ALL that is going on around you; from the pain the heartache, the difficulties, not just on a good day – this being an act of sacrifice; saying I choose to walk in His will in a way that is PURE, that is your BEST (the best you have to give to God) and thirdly that is GOD-PLEASING. What we need to understand is that not everything we do pleases God, not matter how good our intentions are...


Verse 2 of Romans 12 goes on to say“be transformed by the entire renewal of your mind" – In order for your mind to completely transformed with the help of the Holy Spirit, your mindset needs a complete overturn. Changing your mindset towards things of God changes your outward look and view on life. So you begin to move away ideas and actions that are beneficial to you, and begin to lean towards things that will help build God’s Kingdom. So your view on life no longer becomes internal thinking but external thinking. It all comes down to the fact that we are here to build God’s kingdom.
Matthew 6 v 33 says "but seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." – Setting your mind on Christ and seeking God’s Kingdom above all things. Looking outwards towards Him and his kingdom, not inwards towards us and what we can reap or gain in this situation.

"A transformed mind subdues negative thoughts neither allowing them to be turned into actions." - Josh White

I was about 14-16 yrs old around the time my parents were splitting up and during this time time I had a very low and negative image of myself. I didn't view myself as beautiful or didn't see my worth/value and felt I wasn't worthy of anything, especially love. So with these thoughts I tried to seek these things in guys, in things of the flesh.
I soon came to realise that those guys I sought so hard to find my worth in, they come and go. No matter what they said about me, it wasn't solid. But God is ever constant. His words are built in solid truth, words you can stand secure in as they are a firm foundation. So all the thoughts I had about myself I learnt to lead them away captive into the obedience of Christ. It wasn't a transformation that happened overnight. It took me a couple of years before I got to a place where I completely depended on God. I learnt to trust Him and everything He had said over my life at the time.

In 2 Corinthians 10 v 3-5 it says:

“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons. For the weapons of our warfare are not physical, but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds. In as much as we refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the true knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ.”

Prayer, worship, reading and keeping God's word are just a few weapons of our warfare that are mighty before God. What Paul is saying here in Corinthians is that you need to captivate thoughts into Christ’s obedience; whether it is thoughts of low self esteem, lust, or critical thinking of yourself and others all into Christ's obedience. Living a life like that is exhausting – it takes a lot out of you and it is spiritually draining.
What we also need to understand is not just bad thoughts that we captivate but good thoughts too. As I briefly mentioned before not all thoughts and actions are God pleasing no matter how good your intentions are.
That is why in Romans 12 v 2 it says ‘so that you may PROVE FOR YOURSELVES what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.’ This means to also prove for yourselves what God has already deemed good and acceptable and perfect so you know FOR SURE that the thought or idea you have is in line with God’s will. Having the mind of Christ as it says in 1 Corinthians 2 v 16 to guide and instruct us when proving for ourselves what is in God’s will.

It is very important that we are mindful of the things we dwell on and what we feed our minds on. As it says in Philippians 4 v 8 it says we need to meditate on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report and are of virtue. Throughout scripture it says we need to guard our heart.
In Proverbs 4 v 23 it says ‘guard your heart for out of it are the issues of life’; the wellspring of life, the products (actions) of your thoughts. You guard your heart by knowing and keeping God’s word close, through prayer, through worshiping God. Not just memorising verses but actually allowing them to sit and stay in your heart so that you might not sin against God or allow the enemy to attack you. The enemy knows the bible. If you don't know the word of God, the enemy will twist it and use it against you. By knowing and keeping God’s word in your heart, you stand strong because His word is truth, it is PURE and GOOD and it will start to show in your daily life and actions.

In 1 Corinthians 2 v 16  it says

“For who has known or understood the mind of the Lord as to guide and instruct Him and give Him knowledge? But we have the mind of Christ and do hold the thoughts of His heart.”

Thanks to the Christ and thanks to the Holy Spirit we know what is in Christ’s heart and what His thoughts are in terms of our walk with Him. It goes back to looking outwards not inwards; back to building God’s kingdom. Putting God at the centre of every thought – allowing Him to be at the forefront of our minds and in everything we do.

*NB: Scripture taken from both King James Version and The Amplified Bible.

love & light... ♥

Outward Bound...

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"Oh God why You been, hanging round in that old violin? While I've been waiting for You pull me through..."

'Poetry in motion', 'lyrics' or simply 'words strung together in a beautiful fashion'. Call it what you will, but my God there is a deep longing, a cry unto God from this beautiful song by Amos Lee.

Truthfully, a cry I have heard from my own heart.
Day by day I am learning what it means to live a full life, especially one that bears testimony to God. Though in my field of work I learn this in abundance, at times situations in life become overwhelming, thus draining me not only physically, but both spiritually and emotionally. Causing me to realise the need for renewal; a time to rest and step back from what is.

Today, I was outward bound. Out of Southampton to a different city. It was the journey I craved the most rather than the destination. I find when I am journeying spiritually, it is always accompanied by a physical journey, an open road as such; enabling me to put my thoughts together - one of my favourite ways to connect to God.

For some, it is being the company of friends, writing, or another favourite of mine, reveling in in the presence of my family. Whatever situation you are facing and however you take time to disconnect from the daily burdens this world so freely offers, make sure you step out into a personal retreat allowing yourself to be renewed and restored by God.

love & light...♥

The Sacred-Secular Divide

I came across this talk by Lecrae which talks about erasing the sacred-secular divide, understanding that your ministry in serving God can be within whatever role you choose to pursue in life.

love & light...♥

The Sweetest Song

I just wanted to share a word of encouragement that I received from this sweet song by JJ Heller.

There may come a time in your life when you may feel like you are not in control. You have suffered loss, or have been praying fervently for something, passionately pursuing the Lord yet it feels like your heart's desire has not been met or you question why these situations occur in your life - why we hurt or suffer.

We may not understand God's plan but we know who He is. Know the Lord, your God and know that he knows you. Know that He is a loving God. A God who cares for us, thinks good thoughts towards us, wants the best for us. Do not grow weary but stay strong in Him. Even when you don't understand or you feel at your worst, that is the time to lean on the Lord.

Like the scripture in Ecclesiastes 3v1 says: "to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven". A time will come when you will reap what you have sown into the Lord. You may suffer loss but know God has a bigger plan and purpose for every situation that occurs in your life.

"I don't know, I don't know what You're doing, but I know who You are."

love & light...♥

Why Does Our Faith Fail?

I wanted to share this sermon Pastor Steven Furtick preached. I was really touched by this and how God spoke through him. It came just at the right time. I hope it touches you like it has touched and moved me. Here is the preview:

You can watch the full sermon here: Click Part Six

love & light...♥

New Year, New Dreams.

First blog post of 2013; happy new year!
I recently came across a blog post which couldn't have possibly come at a better time.

"In light of what I'm calling my recent "third-life crisis," I've been dreaming brand new dreams that feel foreign and uncomfortable. Dreaming new dreams is scary but exhilarating at the same time. I've been gazing into my life's rear view mirror to look at the things that made me come alive as a freckle-faced little girl and I've been rekindling them: wide open spaces, dolphins, the sea, horses, dancing, running, sports, books, drawing, writing, creating.

At the same time I've been reflecting on the things that have been killing my soul, subtly but violently:

comparison, fear of what others think, social media, worry over money and financial security, negative body-image, socially acceptable addictions, noise.

What are some of the dreams of your little girl heart? What are the things that have been killing them, subtly but dangerously?"

(Visit Allie's original post here) 

Lately I've been feeling bogged down with the things that have been killing my soul, scrambling to find that place where I dreamed passionately and burned for the things that made me come alive.
Similar to Allie, the things that made me come alive as a young girl were: dreaming of riding horses in open fields, clear blue skies, dancing, music, READING like no other, writing endlessly, daydreaming of the unknown, drawing, visiting America!

As for the things that have been weighing me down: my busy work schedule, focusing on the here, now and what IS; not pushing for the 'something more' like I used to.

Lately, my prayer has been to be persistent and dream for the something more, fearlessly. Not being afraid to dream and not growing weary in these times, understanding that there will be moments I will be most uncomfortable but knowing and believing beauty will be borne from it all. I hope and pray that you are equally encouraged as I was by Allie's post, not being afraid to dream new dreams and remembering to take the time to realise when you are becoming too immersed in the 'what is' and accepting it knowing full well God has much more in store for your life.

love & light...♥

My New Song

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"Underneath all the texts, all the sacred psalms and canticles, these watery varieties of sounds and silences, terrifying, mysterious, whirling and sometimes gestating and gentle must somehow be felt in the pulse, ebb, and flow of the music that sings in me. My new song must float like a feather on the breath of God."

- Hildegard von Bingen

As the year comes to a close, I've been remembering my favourite pastimes as well as the new things I've come across this year. Music has always been a favourite pastime of mine. Listening to Hanson's 'Penny and Me' reminds me of my 14 year old self falling in love with music and the sense of freedom and escape it brought me during that year and the years to follow.
Soon to pass another birthday, I'm thankful for the gift of music, song, melody and lyric God has given me the opportunity to enjoy, whilst bringing me closer to Him. I've embraced a side of me which I am keen to explore even more, writing lyrics and melodies; not knowing where it will take me but currently enjoying it as a simple pleasure.

On the topic of creativity, I've become a young woman with a vision, literally. Hoping to start a new hobby (once I can acquire a good camera), photography is something I've longed to tried and can't wait to see where this eye's beholder will take me. I've been inspired by some of Rachel Hendrix's work. See here: Rachel Hendrix Photography

I recently had my graduation (see above picture). It was a time of recognition and recollection of the past three years gone by. I don't know what next year and the years to come hold, but I plan to embrace it with each passing second.

love & light...♥

Friday's Wisdom | The Freedom to Just Be

"I sometimes wonder if we give ourselves and others the freedom to be shy on Monday and outgoing on Tuesday." - Darling Magazine

Sometimes we need to allow others the grace to be weak and the freedom to just be.

I've come to realise when we don't leave room for this we, in turn, expect too much from others and often times too little. Things we could never expect or achieve on our own part, thus unknowingly imparting the responsibility on others when actually, it is God who fulfills all criteria.

Not everyone has gone through similar situations or circumstances you have been in or are currently going through, yet we become disappointed when we  feel as if we don't get enough or the right support from the people we expect it from the most; our friends and family. In this life, people will fail you. Not because they set out to but simply consider the option that they are unaware of how to help you through the situation. It is so important that we don't measure a man according to his mistakes or inability to provide for you. God is our ultimate provider. We depend upon Him, completely, absolutely. He will never disappoint you.

love & light...♥

All that I am is dry bones, without You Lord; a Desert Soul

Ezekiel 37 ♥

This worship... a prayer EVERY child of God should put on their heart, to be completely immersed in our Saviour and captivated by our God. He satisfies ALL our needs, he restores every dead thing in our lives! Seek Him, seek Him, seek Him with ALL your heart and soul, and just watch Him glorify Himself in every area of your life, for you to bear (bare?) testimony to the living God!

love & light...♥

The Lord IS my Shepherd...

We can know God's WILL but we can never know His ways and the exact future He holds for us. Trust in Him, let Him be your guide. Depend on Him, completely, absolutely. Rather than seeking for the direction of your life and seeking for the self, obey His commandments, tend to those who are brokenhearted, WIN SOULS for Him. Too many souls are being lost to the world and to the devil and not enough are being won for Christ... Daily, I see this but that is a different story.
Let go of the need for clarity in your life and hold on to trust. You have a God who knows where They are going. Who will get in front of you and direct you - All. The Days. Of. Your. Life. How much more? Be determined enough to not let Him out of your sight.

The Lord IS my Shepherd.

Edit 23/11/12:
A sermon called 'Modern Spirituality and Your Mind' by Voddie Baucham Jr.
I would advise you listen to this if you wish to break free from this common mould of constantly wanting to know God's will for your life.

love & light...♥

Friday's Wisdom | Dare To Move

"The tension is here, the tension is here,
Between who you are and who you could be.
Between how it is and how it should be.
I dare you to move, dare you to move..."
- Switchfoot, Dare You To Move

There is NO back up plan with God.

In this life, so many of us settle for much less than what we are capable of being able to do. Riding on those temporary highs or not believing to move into the impossible.
Daring to move beyond what we think we can do and into what God knows we can do takes great faith. Stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone; so small, into a life full of the possibilities and the promises God has upon our lives does not come easy but it can be done.

love & light...♥