I have my own life & I am stronger than you know.

I turn 20 tomorrow (28 Dec), and I always reminisce on how far I've come, in this life, every year. I found no better way to express my life's journey so far than through the song 'Change in my Life'.

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill
Then came one moment, when I lost my will
I prayed for mercy, please Lord take me away
Give me sunshine when I only see grey

The past had a hold on me it can't be denied
And the changes didn't come easily

Don't you know?
I've been lonely
I've been cheated
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, put down, and told I'm no good
But with You I belong 'cause You helped me be strong
There's a change in my life since You came along

Now I don't mind working so hard every day
And I don't pay no mind to what people say
'Cause after all the pain I've been through
I give up everything just to love only You

All my life I've held my head bent in shame
Now I found you and with you I'll remain
http://www.free-lyrics.org

Don't you know?
I've been lonely
I've been cheated
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, put down, and told I'm no good
But with You I belong 'cause You helped me be strong
There's a change in my life since You came along

Now a man gets crazy when his life is all wrong
And a heart gets weary where it doesn't belong
When the road gets rocky, know you've got to keep on
Let the new light come shining on through

Don't you know?
I've been lonely
I've been cheated
I've been misunderstood
I've been washed up, put down, and told I'm no good
But with You I belong 'cause You helped me be strong
There's a change in my life since You came along

love & light...♥

Moments Passed

I'm sure we all have our sanctuary's or places we retreat to, to relax and unwind.

During my first year of university, mine was my room.

A couple of days before I left halls, I took pictures of what it became and my favourite 'spots/items' in my room. I haven't really done much with them yet, but I thought I'd post them here.

Enjoy...

Beauty on the outside

Currently Listening to: Eastmountainsouth

love & light...♥

Food for thought:

"They say 'Home is where the heart is'... so where is yours?"
--Me

Vanilla Sky.

"No I've never seen the Sky as Vanilla as tonight..."

So I've just finished watching the film Vanilla Sky & now my heart aches. So beautiful.

I came across the film through Tyler Hilton's song 'I Believe In You", and even though he explained why the film inspired him to write it, I felt the urge to watch the film to better my own understanding and interpretations in relation to the song.

I won't lie, I did find the film confusing towards the end.

The film deals with battling dreams against reality and it soon reaches the point where the audience, alongside the main character (Tom Cruise), try to find a solid boundary between what is real and what isn't. It addresses one's ability to control their life, their thoughts, their actions, on a wider scale. The wider scale being able to decide the kind of life you live; in terms of events that occur and how they occur.

That's what I find most appealing about this film. Control, or lack of it. What I also find quite cunning about this film is we get an outward perspective revolving around the developing story. The outward perspective narrates us through the story & eventually tails on towards the end.

I really want to delve more into this film an analyse it to the core on here but I don't think my own views will suffice. Either that or I'll be here forever & a day.

It is a film you have to watch to truly understand and gain its core essence. Very moving and beautiful film. Not everything is at it seems.

Needless to say this has become one of my favourite films & it is a definite recommendation!

'Vanilla Sky' by Monet

love & light...♥

Current Read: 'Siddhartha' by Hermann Hesse

I leave you with I Believe In You

"Pace Yourself." She said... "Pace Yourself."

One of my favourite things about nursing is meeting so many new people. People who come from different backgrounds and have had different experiences in life.

Sometimes I feel nursing is a give and receive vocation. I put my heart and soul into caring for my patients & they bless me with their life stories, inspiration and advice.

I met a lady who survived a miraculous car accident - I admired every single word that came out of her mouth. I told her of my dreams and aspirations I have in this life & how I felt I wanted to do so much all at once and all she told me was:

"Pace Yourself."

Those are the words my brother tells me when I'm doing a long distance run; "pace yourself". Those are the words I tell myself when planning assignments, or saving money; "pace yourself".

So why didn't I think of it before when it came to my aspirations and goals. What is the difference in application to life? Hmm. Just a bigger scale I suppose?

All I have to do is take things 'One Step at a Time' and keep faith that I will eventually get there.

How exciting! Ha!
Excuse me while I revel in this revelation!

Currently listening to: 'Crazier' by Taylor Swift

love & light...♥

"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains & is immortal." - Albert Pine

When the stars all go home...

Free People Decem-brrr...

December '10 Catalogue

Currently listening to: Eastmountain South

love & light...♥

"Tis a song, a sigh of the weary,

Hard times, hard times come again no more.

Many days you have lingered around my cabin door,

Oh hard times come again no more."

Lissie.

I don't know, there's just... something about her.

Every so often (on a frequent basis actually) I come across new music & new artists but not all of them are able to 'move me' the way Lissie does.

The last time music truly moved me was when I finally heard music for the first time circa 2005-2006 & of course when I re-discovered Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks some years ago.

& maybe it is the fact that she possess similar qualities to Stevie Nicks, voice wise; or her lyrics are just plain genius. Whatever it is, it's something magical. Something Bohemian & Gypsy like. Very enchanting.

I'm hoping to get her album on vinyl, of course.

http://www.lissie.com/

love & light...♥

"I fell in love with being defiant..." - Lissie

The World Is On Fire...

... & it's more than I can handle.

I know exactly what I want to achieve in this life but whether I have the courage and the strength to do it is another question. I've always had an active role in a lot of aspects of activism but I've always felt comfortable in that role because it is not out of my comfort zone.

When I graduate, with my nursing degree, I hope to go on to do a Masters (and perhaps a PhD) but my heart truly lies in helping the less fortunate. Those who are unable to help themselves due to the life they were born into and that way of living.

It pains me to see people suffer. It is the only thing I will cry for. I just wish there was more I can do but I am just one woman. If only the world wasn't so ignorant & would open its eyes to see how its brothers and sisters are living in despair, lack of hope/joy... just maybe people will start to look after one another and do more for each other.

I just hope I can make a lasting impact on this world, in the sense that I inspire at least one person to put there life to good use & help others... in all aspects.

love & light...♥

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

Current Read: 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' by Milan Kundera

Restless is a heart that wanders...

The name 'In My Borrowed Heaven' came from a blend of two songs. The meaning, simply put, is that this life we live is borrowed. Everything belongs to and is of God. In turn everything we know will go back to God.

Who am I? I was once a girl with a restless heart who was always searching for something more; because I believed there was something more. I found Him... or better put, He found me. I know Him as my saviour, my healer, my comforter, my help, my guide, my FIRM FOUNDATION, my friend. I rest in Him and Him alone. My love for the Lord God and His love for me is beyond description. I am known by Him and I have come to know Him. He is "the something more".

...And that is what I plan to share in this blog... "the something more".

I live AND love to worship God! All the praise belongs to Him.
This wild at heart, child of God is a HUGE lover of music! I play Guitar (acoustic/electric), Piano and a bit of Harmonica; I would love to learn Cello too.

I have a thing for the colour purple, chunky knit sweaters, Autumn, vinyl records, an open road, The Southern States, food, literature, art and all things bohemian (you will soon discover, I'm sure!)

I studied Adult Nursing at the University of Southampton and aspire to make a change one day with my profession. The scripture Isaiah 61v1: "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound." is one I hold very close to my heart, reminding me that the possibility of a better and much more positive world lies within the palms of our hands.

I am still living life. I plan on accomplishing all of my dreams no matter how impossible, out of reach or bizarre they seem. We only live once; there is a great beauty in that and I do not plan to take it for granted.

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love & light...♥

p.s. my name is Jane